Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder from “Live” Radio Over 2 Decades!

Frankly Speaking by Frank Jordan

One of the most fascinating features of hosting a live national radio show is the advice, wisdom and wit provided by your audience – spontaneous and often surprising.   A sage in radio from Salem Broadcasting, knowing I was very nervous on my first day with a national health-talk show, told me to remember the words of Voltaire who said, “The art of medicine consist of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease!” 

His point was keep a sense of humor and impart joy even while you and your medical co-harts give suggestions for getting and staying better.  On that first broadcast a senior lady responded to a discussion on how our skin deteriorates with age when she offered this advice, “Know how to prevent sagging?  Just eat ‘til the wrinkles fill out.  That’s right and fat people’s feet don’t sunburn either!”

A bit later, a gentleman called in with a unique description of his health challenge when he lamented, “You know it’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker!”  Agreed.

Then there was another fellow who aptly described the sequence of events he experienced in the aging process: “First you forget names; then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. But it’s worse when you forget to pull it down!”   Text books just can’t express it as well as the folks involved.

A sad caller related the event that signaled a changed life style when he told me he was experiencing depression because he now chose his cereal for the fiber instead of the toy inside. Yikes-I’m there.  Another on a restricted diet expressed outrage that, “I’m at the age where my wild oats have turned to prunes and bran!”  Have you noticed it usually taste like hay too?  That’s because it is!

One of my favorites was the distraught lady in her eighties who had tired of all the advice on what to do to stay young, “If I just do all that healthy stuff, won’t I just wind up in the hospital dying of nothing!” Then there was the guy with an upbeat approach to balding when he told me, “I’m not losing my hair, I’m just getting more head.”  A shining example of optimism don’t you think?

My show, “Healthy, Wealthy and Wise” on Sirius/XM weekdays on the Family Channel was Christian based.  One day I closed the show with, “Be sure to be in the Church of your choice on Sunday.”  The next day a spirit-filled caller informed me, “Going to Church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car!”  Agreed my friend – listen, receive, repent, believe, be saved; then you are a Christian.

Perhaps my favorite, after what had been a rather dull discussion on getting a colonoscopy, came from the man who reported, “I asked the doc just before he started my colonoscopy if he could check to see if my head was up there and, if not, could he give me a note because my wife is convinced that’s where its at!”  That’s bringing a health issue to a head!

The question that stumped all was from a puzzled lady who asked, “What happens if you get scared to death twice?”  Frankly speaking, some of the most sage words to live by came from a stage 4 cancer sufferer who told our audience with a faint voice, “Remember, even when you have pains, you don’t have to be one!”  She then in closing spoke about happiness, “Smile and know today is a gift and that’s why it’s called the ‘present.’ “